Taking Care Of The Elderly - Alzheimer’s Disease Part 2

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Mom very happy to help

Mom enjoys helping

This is another endearing post about my parents. This post is about taking mom and dad to another town to my sister’s place. It’s where we would really want them to go as it’s for the best of their welfare. It’s all about a test of my patience and skill how to influence them to come along with me.

Alzheimer’s Disease - A Cruel Disease

Alzheimer’s Disease is undeniably a very cruel disease. I have been sharing about my personal experience with my mom who is suffering from this debilitating disease and it’s getting worse. But I realised that we can help Alzheimer’s patients to live a better quality of life which in turn helps those around them to be less stressed up. As most of us know, it’s not easy to take care of the elderly, especially those who are weak and sick, worse if they suffer from Alzheimer’s Disease. They need a lot of tender loving care and sometimes our patience runs out and we become weary. But there’s hope, not that we can cure Alzheimer’s Disease, but we can help ourselves by helping those who suffer from it. It is achievable if we don’t give up.

I hope that what I had shared will help all those who are going through similar situation as what my family is going through while at the same time provides a piece of useful information for anyone who is interested to know more. Don’t be like me….naive and ignorant all along and then suddenly needed to take care of mom for a short while (2 weeks). I’m really overjoyed that everything worked out very well.

To achieve my goal, I followed a few simple leadership principles. These principles can be used in all areas of life whether you are a leader or not. If you are a parent, you are a leader because you have to lead your children. If you are a teacher, you are a leader because you have to lead pupils and so forth. And even if you think you are not leading anyone, you still have to lead yourself. These 6 principles still apply.

Set Eyes On the Goal

To reach your goal, you must never lose sight of your goals. You need to be passionate about your goal and aim for it. Don’t let the things around you distract  you or discourage you. Stay focused.

I was desperate to reach my goal….influence my parents to go and stay with my sister. I had to stay very focused. My strong purpose would be my greatest driving force. My conviction was clear and no one could change my mind even though I didn’t like the few hours journey by car on bumpy road.

To bring my parents there, I had to share with them my goal and help them to join in the fun of setting our eyes on our goal……..a better place to be.

My goal is to bring my parents to my sister’s place so that they can be well cared of. My sister is very motherly and caring like dad himself while my brother-in-law is a doctor and he loves my parents, too. My sister really wants them to stay with her but they have so far refused. It’s almost close to impossible because mom wants to go home (old house) all the time. She would create a battlefield in the house! I only had a few days in Sibu with them to influence them. It would be real hard work but there should be a way.

I set out plans to influence her and dad applying some simple leadership principles that I have used successfully in the past. I have to help them set their eyes on the goal. I talked to them everyday about going to my sister’s place. It has to sink in their heart. I explained to them the purpose of going there to stay. It’s because we really love them and want the best for them and they they will be very well taken care of. It will also free us of worries and we can always visit them when we go back.

I told them how excited I wanted to go, especially with them. I told them how much I dislike road journey but for them I would really love to go and would be so happy if they come along with me. They were flattered…hehe.

Passionate About The Goal

Passion is like fire and it is infectious. If you are not passionate about reaching your goal, no one will. People don’t want to end up arriving at a boring, silly goal. Being passionate about your goal will make other’s excited about it, too.

Before I reach my goal, I need to have some knowledge about it…the excitement and benefits. I checked out with my sister what she has at her place by asking a few questions. I know mom loves to cook and rear animals so these are really important. My sister rears ducks, chickens and geese. That’s just perfect.

I took special interest in her geese, chicken and ducks and talked about them everyday, telling my mom I was desperate to see them. I even told mom I wish I could have some chicks to play with.

This is what we saw at my sister’s place on arrival. Mom was so happy to see all the animals.

Beautiful geese

My sister's beautiful geese

My sister's black fleshed chicken

My sister's black-fleshed chicken

Small Goals To Big Goal

To reach your goal, always break it down to small achievable goals. It makes the whole endeavour easier to comprehend and achieve and not so threatening. It will make the journey more fun, too.

To help mom and dad go to my sister’s place, I told them we will take our time to get ready for the journey…medication, clothing and some nice food for the journey. Everyday, I would ask what other things should we include in our list to bring along, to get them involved with the preparation. The more we do it the more the excitement grew. I could see that slowly they were changing their mind and were ready to go…very willingly.

Dad was sorting out his stuff each day, hoping he doesn’t forget anything.

Share The Excitement In Reaching The Goal

An excited person makes other people excited, too. The more you know, the more interesting you are and the more excitement you can create.

I showed mom and dad great excitement when I talked to them each day about going to my sister’s place. I would tell them what I would do there, cooking, watching the chickens and ducks and chatting with my sister. I knew that’s what mom and dad would love. I told them what they can do there, too, especially for mom. She can help with food preparation and fold clothing if she likes. I also told them that they will be a great blessing to my sister and my brother-in-law, too. Then of course we can all go out to coffee shop with my sister for breakfast everyday.

Mom had always been very successful in hatching chicken eggs. I always stayed beside her when I was young to see her lift up an egg against a little kerosene lamp to check out whether it is fertilised or not before hatching them. The greatest thrill is to see the little chicks poke through the shells and slowly wriggled themselves out.

This is what we saw on arrival at my sister’s place. I was totally amazed to see my brother-in-law hatching chicken using incubators.

Checking out eggs to hatch

Checking out eggs to hatch

My brother-in-law is a doctor but has great passion in fishing and hatching chickens! He even made a special enclosure and dug a small pond for the geese. That makes for great topics to share with mom and dad.

I told them I was very excited and couldn’t wait to see all the big fish my brother-in-law caught and how he hatches chickens. That’s my brother-in-law in the picture. He and the chicken eggs! See all those big fishing lines. He always goes out to sea with his friends fishing. They have not been buying fish since he fell in love with fishing! The biggest he caught was 15 kg!

Rolling the eggs round

Rolling the eggs round

This picture showed my brother-in-law trying to be the mother hen, pushing and rolling the eggs around! My sister always laughs at him when she sees him doing that…haha. He has 3 incubators, 2 bought ones and 1 homemade by him.

Homemade chicken incubator

Homemade chicken incubator

Enjoy The Journey To The Goal

Don’t ever run over rose beds to reach your goal. Enjoy the ride and love the scenes along the way. Help others to enjoy the ride, too.

To help mom and dad enjoy the journey, I told them we will make it comfortable for them. They can ask the driver to stop whenever they want to take a break, to rest or stretch or something light to eat in coffee shops along the way.

The day finally came and the driver was at our house to pick us up, including the maid. The driver was very friendly and we had a good time talking about a lot of things in the car. Dad joined in the conversation while mom listened. Sometimes I talked to her. We stopped once on the way to rest and buy something to eat. It was a smooth journey except for certain moments when mom complained and questioned why we had not reached. During those moments, I reminded her of our goal to get to my sister’s place and all the fun that we were going to have.

Joy In Reaching The Goal

Show your utter joy when you reach your goal. Have a celebration with those you take along for reaching the goal together!

Fresh free range organic chicken eggs

Fresh free range organic chicken eggs

Finally we arrived. I was just over the moon. I DID IT! I DID IT! What a huge relief!!

When we arrived, my sister was so overjoyed to see us. She has already cooked nice food for us. I could see the joy on mom and dad’s faces. We had a wonderful dinner and we had so much to share. Mom and dad were quite tired but they were very happy!

We even had fresh free range organic eggs for breakfast everyday. The hens laid eggs everyday. We had chicken soup everyday, too. We really ate very healthy food.


Reaching your goal doesn’t come overnight. It takes a lot of thinking, planning and implementing it step by step, taking into consideration all the potential risks, obstacles and discouragement along the way. It requires a lot of patience, discipline and determination. But when you finally reach your goal, you will be the happiest person on earth. You feel like you are on top of the world!

More Goals To Reach

But is that the end of the story? No, another testing starts! I have another goal to achieve…..that my parents will be happy to stay and not ask to go back. That was my deepest concern. I only have a few days to do it. Will share more in my next post.

Latest Update

From my previous post, I mentioned that dad came down with pneumonia and was admitted to hospital. He has been transferred to the main hospital in Kuching 3 days ago and is presently under the care of a very good specialist. He is still under drips and oxygen and is more stable at the moment. Praying that his serious condition does not dip into the critical level. Mom misses him a lot and insists that my sister goes and bring him back! They are inseparable, like 2 little bird birds, even at the age of 80! As for me, my thoughts are constantly with them and the phone is my best friend! I hope dad will be discharged soon.

Once again, thanks very much for visiting and all the lovely and encouraging comments in my previous posts. They mean a lot to me. Hope everyone is having a wonderful day everyday. Keep Smiling!

Other related articles about caring for the elderly:

Taking Care Of The Elderly - Simple And Easy Natural Cure
Taking Care Of The Elderly - Alzheimer’s Disease Part 1

Quote of the day…….

“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, therefore, is not an act but a habit.”


Keep Learning Keep Smiling

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Belinda @zomppa  on November 19th, 2010

I hope your dad gets better soon! It’s sweet to see your parents so in love after all these years. Another insightful, inspiring post. So wonderful that your sister and brother-in-law are eager to welcome your parents…with fresh eggs and chicken!

Angie's Recipes  on November 19th, 2010

Mary, lucky you having such a caring and ready-to-help sister.
Thank you for sharing such rich and valuable tips.

Quay Po Cooks  on November 19th, 2010

Mary, I love seeing loving old couples, it makes my heart sing! I hope you Dad will have a speedy recovery. I can see you have a very supportive sister and brother-in-law, you are very blessed my dear and your parents are blessed to have you too. Good tips on how to achieve our goal. Thanks for sharing!

Swathi  on November 19th, 2010


Hope you dad is getting better. It is nice to have a sister like yours. My husband’s grandmother is suffering this disease. I know how hard on them also others

Faith  on November 19th, 2010

Another beautiful and touching post. Your dad is in my thoughts and prayers, Mary.

Tuty  on November 19th, 2010

What an inspirational piece you shared with us.
You can count on my prayers for your dad, mom and everyone in your family.

Joanne  on November 19th, 2010

Caring for those with Alzheimer’s is so incredibly difficult. Great piece and good work!

sidney  on November 19th, 2010

Great to hear that…

lequan  on November 20th, 2010

Hi Mary,

Thank your for sharing your excellent tips with us. I hope your dad will have a quick recovery so that he can be joined with his “bird”. By the way, I forgot to yell you that I loved that picture of your parents holding hands in your first post about your parents.

You have a very supportive sister and “mother hen” brother in law…teehee. How wonderful that a family can work together like you guys have to help take care of the ones who once do lovingly took care of you. Hopefully your brother in-law will catch another 15 kg fish for your parents. Your dad is in my thoughts and prayers, Mary. Stay strong! No worries about visiting our blogs. Your family needs you more right now. Please keep us informed on your Dad’s condition.

redkathy  on November 20th, 2010

Blessings and prayers for your dad Mary. My father in law suffered from Alzheimer, what a horrible disease. It took us almost a year to convince my dad he could not live alone. Now that he is here he is happier and more relaxed. While he is still frail, his overall heath is better. Medications taken more consistently and healthier meals contribute to that end.

kristy  on November 20th, 2010

Thanks for the tips, Mary! You’re very passionate and a strong lady. It’s a great relief! At least, there are someone there to look after your parents when you’re away. I noticed there are so many fishing rods at your sister’s home. My hubby would get crazy if he saw those. haha…. Hope you’re enjoying your weekend.
Cheers, Kristy

Biren @ Roti n Rice  on November 20th, 2010

Your parents are so blessed to have you and your sister taking care of them. Yes, Alzheimer’s is a terrible disease and hopefully in the future we will be able to find a way to minimize its effects if not cure it. Stay strong Mary. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

Ananda Rajashekar  on November 21st, 2010

You past few post makes me think a lot! thanks for the informative post!

TasteHongKong  on November 22nd, 2010

Your mom looks fine if not with the Alzheimer’s disease. With so much care from you, I’m sure you have made her discomforts to the minimal.
Wish you and family having a wonderful day everyday too! And your father to discharge soon!

Magic of Spice  on December 7th, 2010

Your parents will be in our thoughts…and wonderful post especially on Alzheimer’s, such a difficult thing for everyone involved. Blessings to your family.

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